I'm staring at my ceiling fan again.

It's 2 AM and I'm up, half-covered in sheets, mulling over a spreadsheet from yesterday.

I am not alone in this.

We entrepreneurs have a hard time shutting it off. It might be Christmas, and maybe you had a great revenue year, but now Q1 is approaching and you need a strategy for 2025.

How do we shut our brain off when the work is never truly done?

I'm going to shy away from the term "burn out" here because that's not the conversation I'm trying to have.

Being an entrepreneur is the glorious inconvenience of being my own boss. And in the famous words of Kelly Kapoor, "I'm very hard to manage."

My struggle to "turn off my brain" exists because I'm right where I want to be. I'm good at what I do. Problem-solving is one of my greatest skillsets, and being in business means I get to use that skill every day.

The danger comes when that propensity to fix and churn and solve takes over moments that don't require it.

Like Christmas morning.

Permission to be Guilty.

Let me be clear about what this blog is NOT: This is not a space where I tell you to get better boundaries around your focused work time, or to have better structure, or to schedule more down time.

Frankly, that's antithetical to what “Down Time” truly is.

If we need to “schedule” the time slots we are allowed to be exhausted, I propose something else entirely is going on.

No. This blog is about permission.

Permission to rot on the couch. Zone out. Let your thoughts wander mindlessly. Pick up a book, read two sentences, and put it back down to collect dust.

Permission to eat dinner down the street because there is nothing in the fridge, and not feel a wink of guilt about it.

And permission to do this even when there is more work to be done, and you are behind on your task list.

My Couch Rotting Ritual

My mind tends to spin when I am tired. I know its spinning when my feelings of frustration attach themselves to a problem I know does not have an immediate solution and I'm fixating on it anyway.

Conventional wisdom suggests that I use methods of distraction to ease my tiredness. ChatGPT suggested that I use: "Meditation, journaling, and setting intentional 'no work' zones to help me reset."

Which I think should just be jargon for: "zoning out on the couch."

My kids know that between 7 and 9 PM, I can be found on my couch with a cup of tea. I've got my knees up to my chest, with the thickest, fuzziest blanket in the house, and I'm not thinking about anything important. I might read a book. I might not. I will be doing nothing and loving it.

Whatever it is that I want to do in that time, I'm not overthinking it. There's no goal. No outcome.

It's a purely informal and empty space.

When I feel "spent," that's the signal that it's time for the couch. And I transition to a human being instead of a human doing.

The Evidence for Why This is a Good Idea

There needs to be time every single day when I am not doing anything and nothing is required of me.

If I'm not getting that time, my brain will start taking it from me. And then I'll be up at 2 AM in my imaginary spreadsheets.

Parents everywhere know this feeling. Picture this common scenario:

You promise yourself you'll go to bed at 9 PM to wake up early for that workout, but instead you're sprawled on the couch until 1 AM, snacking and scrolling through your phone.

In the moment, it feels absolutely wonderful—though you'll likely regret it tomorrow.

You end up berating yourself for lacking discipline, while simultaneously feeling stuck in what society calls a "rut."

Let me propose that this time to yourself isn't just dignified—it's essential. Your brain literally requires it.

Let me explain:

Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist, emphasizes the importance of allowing the mind to wander, highlighting its benefits for mental health and cognitive flexibility. She refers to these periods as "thinker moments," during which the mind disengages from external stimuli and freely explores internal thoughts. According to Dr. Leaf, such moments can:

Reboot the Mind: Allowing the mind to wander provides a mental reset, enhancing clarity of thought and organizing neural networks. This process increases and balances alpha brainwave activity, fostering relaxation and alertness, and bridging the conscious and nonconscious mind. Dr. Leaf
Enhance Creativity and Problem-Solving: Daydreaming and mind-wandering can lead to creative insights and solutions by enabling the brain to make novel connections between ideas. This spontaneous thought process is essential for innovative thinking. Dr. Leaf
Improve Mental and Physical Health: Engaging in thinker moments can reduce stress and anxiety levels, contributing to overall well-being. By providing the brain with necessary downtime, these periods support mental health and cognitive function. Dr. Leaf

Dr. Leaf discusses these concepts in her book Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess and elaborates on them in her podcast episode #266, titled "How Daydreaming Can Improve Your Mental Health & Cognitive Flexibility." She also explores the significance of thinker moments in her blog post, "The Benefits of Alone Time."

So to be clear:

It's not about doing less or being less committed to my business; it's about identifying when and where my mental energy is best applied. I've decided that zoning out and doing nothing each day is key to staying productive and maintaining my sanity. And perhaps most importantly, I've embraced the idea that stepping away from work can be just as valuable as diving into it.

But what about the rest of us?

If you are reading this, and you genuinely feel as if you do not have the time to zone out on your own furniture, then I have a question for you:

Who told you that?

Is your company going to collapse because you stopped feeling guilty for being tired?

You’re Never Truly “Done” Working: There’s always something else you could be doing.

Turning it off is hard because your mind is constantly running through possibilities, problems, and ideas. And you do this, in part because you are scared that everything will fall apart if you do not.

Now, I cannot guarantee that your business will succeed. But if it does not, I do not think it will be because you learned to rest.

Shut it Off: How Can I When I’m Never Truly Done?

Permission to be Guilty.

My Couch Rotting Ritual

The Evidence for Why This is a Good Idea

But what about the rest of us?

Other Resources for This Topic:

Author

Permission to be Guilty.

My Couch Rotting Ritual

The Evidence for Why This is a Good Idea

But what about the rest of us?

Other Resources for This Topic:

Share

Author